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Richards
Riff Raff. . .
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The following was submitted by Rich
Beauchamp, I lost it, and Dave Karlovich located it again for me. Thanks
troopers, job well done!!
3 Yanks vs 3 Rebs
One morning, three Southerners and
three Yankees were in a ticket counter line at a train
station. The three Northerners each bought a ticket and
watched as the three Southerners bought just one ticket.
"How are the three of you
going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the
Yankees.
"Watch and learn,"
answered one of the boys from the South.
All six boarded the
train where the three Yankees sat down, but the three
Southerners crammed into a toilet together and closed the door.
Shortly after the train
departed, the conductor came around to collect tickets.
He knocked on the toilet door and said, "Ticket, please."
The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket
in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.
The Yankees saw this happen and agreed it was quite a clever idea;
indeed, so clever they decided to do the same thing on the return
trip and save some money.
That afternoon when
they got back to the station, they bought a single
ticket for the return trip and watched, while to their astonishment, the
three Southerners didn't buy even one ticket.
"How are you going
to travel without a ticket?" asked a perplexed Yankee.
"Watch and learn,"
answered the three Southern boys in unison.
When
they boarded the train, the three Northerners crammed themselves
into a toilet and the three Southerners crammed into another toilet
just down the way.
Shortly after the
train began to move, one of the Southerners left their
toilet and walked over to the toilet in which the Yankees were hiding.
The Southerner knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please."
There's just no way
on God's green earth to explain how the Yankees ever won
the war
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Four Great Short Stories
These tales make your
American spirit pulsate.......
Submitted by Clinton Arla Derr. E-mail Clinton at crcannon61@msn.com
When
in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell
was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans
for Iraq were just an example of "empire building" by
George Bush.
He answered by
saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent
many of its fine young men and women into great peril
to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only
amount of land we have ever asked for in return is
enough to bury those that did not return. It
became very quiet in the room.
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Then there was a
conference in France where a number of international
engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a
break one of the French engineers came back into the
room saying "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush
has done?
He has sent an aircraft
carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims.
What does he intended to do, bomb them?" A
Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our
carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat
several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and
can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three
cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three
meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons
of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry
half a dozen helicopters for
use in transporting victims and injured to and from
their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?
Once again, dead
silence.
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A U.S. Navy
Admiral was attending a naval conference that included
Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian
and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he
found himself standing with a large group of Officers
that included personnel from most of
those countries.
Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped
their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, "whereas
Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only
English." He then asked, "Why is it that we
always have to speak
English in these
conferences rather than speaking French?"
Without
hesitating, the American Admiral replied "Maybe it's
because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans
arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German."
You could have
heard a pin drop.
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AND THIS STORY
FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE. A group of Americans, retired
teachers, recently went to France on a tour.
Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in
Paris by plane. At
French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his
passport in his carry on. "You have been to France
before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked
sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting
admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should
know enough to have your passport ready."
The American said, "The
last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible.
Americans always have to show your passports on
arrival in France!"
The American senior gave
the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I
came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help
liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen
to show it to."
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LETTERS from THE FIELD
Taking “The Rowe Clan Haversack “ to heart,
a member of the 2nd Kentucky Cavalry Co. D, sent this letter to a
member of the HAVERSACK HERALD staff
In
a short while I will have to take the field again. Somehow I feel
compelled to tell you all that is in my heart and mind in these moments.
There is something stirring within me that tells me I will not have the
opportunity to tell you these things ever again.
I am
sorry that I ever left you! My mind will not let me forget that day. Your
love and your fear were both written on your face. Your tears broke my
heart. What a foolish man I was to think I would make a difference here.
In your letters I can almost feel you. I do so desire to be there with
you, however, for some reason I think my duty is to be here.
My thoughts and dreams have always been
filled with you. How can I give those to you? Inside I cry out because I
want to leave here, leave this doomed fate I now feel. I would be willing
to give up this life if someone told me I’d have another with you....with
only you. If I do not return today and you receive
this letter, I am sorry. Sorry for all the things I never had the chance
or the opportunity to tell you. How I now regret all the moments I wasted
not letting you know just how much you mean to me. Forgive me for all
this. I would give you all I could, however, now all I have left are these
thoughts. Take them to your heart and lock them away there. You are all I
think of now, you are all that matters. Know that I love you till I can no
longer do so in this world. You will be mine and I will be yours until I
am called forth from this earth. I love you with all that I am.
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A Report from the Richmond Herald
published three times a week.
$5.00 annually, paid in advance
Illinois Society Order of Confederate Rose
Belle Boyd Chapter I
Cordially Invite You to Our Inaugural
Sabers & Roses Civil War Ball
Date: Saturday, March 29, 2008
Time: 7:00 p.m. – 11:00 p.m.
(Hors D’oeuvres Buffet, Sweet Table & Cash Bar)
Period Music of Mary & Frank James
Bartlett Fireman’s Hall, 218 S. Main St., Bartlett, IL 60103
Dress: Civil War Attire Preferred,
Formal, Semi-Formal (Suit & Tie)
Cost: $25/Adult per person
$20/Child (under 12) per person
$30/Adult, $25/Child per person at the door
All Payments due by March 1, 2008
Make Checks payable to: Illinois Society OCR, Belle Boyd Ch. I
Send to: Illinois Society OCR, Belle Boyd Chapter I
c/o Terry Downey/Treasurer
561 Fairway View Drive 1-A, Wheeling, IL 60090
For Additional Information:
http://www.prairiestarproductions.com/isocrball.htm
Or Questions:
Ms. Judith Esarove, President (708) 645-0045 or
dixielady01@comcast.net
Ms. Terry Downey, Treasurer (847) 537-2116 or
downey1784@comcast.net
For the reservation form as a
Word Document please click here
OCR reservation form.doc
For the reservation form as a
PDF Document please click here
OCR reservation form.pdf
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